Friday, February 7, 2014

How Can You Love A Child You Didn't Give Birth To?

I met my son on November 1, 2013. 

He moved in on December 20, 2013. 

To be clear, I met my son and roughly seven weeks later, he moved into our home and into our lives forever.

(Our son was in foster care in an adjacent county.  Agencies working within the United States try to provide a period of transition for older children being moved into new homes, this is not always the case, but it was for us.) 

And so it was that my husband and I met a sweet, bouncy, two year old, in a stuffy room of a county Children and Youth Services building.  The room had no windows, one table with several chairs around it, and a very small sitting area.  When we met our son, the room was packed with the two of us, our case worker, three case workers from my son's county, his foster mother, his foster sister, and him…giggly, wiggly, and constantly moving, though there was very limited space for him to do so. 

We spent over an hour in that tight space…watching him, asking questions about him, tentatively playing with him, and watching him some more. 

Following the meeting, my husband and I had the opportunity to think and pray about inviting this child into our lives forever.  However, as we drove the hour home, we both spoke out loud what we had both been thinking during the meeting - that we had just met our son.  It was this amazing, beautiful, and terrifying realization.  We had met our son. 

Upon looking back on it, I knew he was mine the minute I saw him.  In the week leading up to the meeting, I had the butterflies of excitement in my stomach because I thought he was probably my boy, but when I saw him, I knew…and I fell in love. 

I understand that it may not make sense that I love a child I did not give birth to.  It's totally unexplainable to people who have never been through the adoption process.  To those who do not have children or those who only have biological children, it's not something that can be summed up in words.  So I won't even try, because then it would just become senseless babble.  Just believe me.  It's true.  I love him so much my heart feels like it will burst…and there is no doubt in my mind that he is mine.  I am his mommy and my husband is his daddy.  Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever.  


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