tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-35335213251008422022024-02-22T01:39:17.901-08:00Thoughts On Life Stuff - Instant Parenthood, Lady Pastorin, Jesus, and Tattoosnaomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.comBlogger17125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-66803684262743244042020-11-01T12:15:00.008-08:002020-11-01T12:40:02.769-08:00Please Check On Your Clergy And Worship Leaders...We Are Not OK. <p><span style="font-size: medium;">This is the conversation that I wish would happen on a regular basis these days, well, since mid-March: </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">House of Worship Member: "Hey, how are you?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Clergy-Person/Worship Leader: "I'm ok."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">House of Worship Member: "No really, how are you...?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Clergy-Person/Worship Leader: "Uhmmm...I'm hanging in there...I'm doing my best...life is hard."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">House of Worship Member: "Is there anything I can do to help?"</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Clergy-Person/Worship Leader: "Honestly, pray for me an my family...and just keep asking how I'm doing, I really appreciate that. And I wouldn't say no to (a gift card to local coffee place/dinner for my family/extra time off in the future/etc)."</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">This is the conversation that actually takes place: </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">No-one: </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Clergy-Person/Worship Leader (to self): I'm drowning. I can't do this. I am so inadequate at everything right now. Can I hide under my desk for a few hours? I wish someone would acknowledge just how hard this is. (Or at least, this is part of my inner monologue.)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Of course, the reality is that no one is ok right now. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">As a nation, we continue to live through a pandemic and a non-response/negative response by our Federal Government. Which has made things much worse. Not only is it anxiety and anger producing, but it's harder to navigate in our personal lives and work lives. We are living through (another) time of civil unrest grounded in racial injustice and oppression and the continued sins of white supremacy. We are anxious about the growing climate change crisis that is very real and has very real consequences (including, but not limited to wild fires and major storms). We are parents to students who are navigating virtual school or the anxiety of in-person education or of older students who have been sent home from college. We are taking care of older parents who may or may not be in care facilities who we are not allowed to visit. We are carrying the financial burden and emotional toll of a spouse who has lost their job due to the Covid economic crisis. We are carrying the weight of worry about our own chronic illness and/or carrying the weight of worry for those we love who have chronic illnesses. When family members and friends die (from the Coronavirus - 231,000, to date - or because of other issues) we cannot get together to collectively grieve their loss and celebrate their lives.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Those are just a few examples of why life is so hard right now.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">(And let's be completely, 100% honest, our friends and colleagues who are, who are married to, or have children who are BIPOC or LGBTQIA+ are struggling waaay more than any of us.)</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Your clergy and professional worship leaders are feeling all of this stuff too...because guess what, we are people too. We are also struggling, worried, anxious, dealing with personal grief, and anger and all the other emotions that everyone is dealing with in these wtf-times...AND we are also trying to help our members who have had loved ones die, find ways to grieve; we are assisting members and others find resources to food and healthcare; many of us are doing our best to educate about white privilege and white supremacy; we are worried that worship membership and giving will decline to a point where we won't have a job anymore; we are anxious that every time we have to make a decision regarding the safety of others in our professional setting, it will set off a whirlwind of negative and angry comments; we know that when people need to vent their feelings of heartbreak and grief, many times their anger will come out on us; and we are doing our best to not lose hope and/or lose our own tempers.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">In normal non-wtf-times, your professional worship leaders care for others. That's what we feel passionately called to do. And in our interactions with our people we receive affirmations in the ways we engage with members who we see regularly, who extend us care by means of a friendly chat or a silly interaction or sharing a book recommendation. We share in hugs and hand-shakes weekly as people arrive or leave worship and we hear things like "good sermon," "great job with the kids today," "Thank you for (fill in the blank)," etc. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">So, we are continuing to do that thing that we do, that many of us feel deeply called to do, which is care for others, but we are receiving very few to no affirmations and relational interactions. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Also in non-wtf-times, we (hopefully) take breaks/practice sabbath rest. But in these Covid-times, taking time off (real sabbath rest) is extremely difficult to come by because we are always "pivoting" to the next step in the worship/ physically re-gathering plan.</span></p><p></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">And here is another key difference with clergy and worship professionals: we are in one of those fields where many times, we provide a service for people who voluntarily participate. Those of you who attend a house of worship like a temple, church, synagogue, and mosque, do so because you want to feel a connection to something larger than yourself, but your participation is completely voluntary. You get to make the choice to go into those spaces in normal non-wtf-times and in this new Coronavirus-ridden abnormal time. You choose. Your professional worship leadership many times, do not get the choice to go into these places, and yet, we feel deeply called to serve in these places and with our people. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">However, now things are different. You still have a choice, but we are feeling that our choices and our bodily autonomy are becoming more and more limited and controlled by your need, desire, demand, to gather physically together. Your choice to physically gather results in us being forced into spaces where many of us don't feel safe. (To be fair, there are many professional worship leaders who feel fine with the choice to be in close proximity to their people and/or they feel confidant that their worshipping populations are following proper safety protocols.) </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">This lack of affirmation and relational engagement, lack of rest, and lack of personal choice and bodily autonomy (on top of all the other human feels that are normal in this new abnormal) are taking its toll.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">I haven't asked colleagues to take a formal poll nor have I conducted any official studies of any sort, but I can share from my interactions with friends and colleagues who work in Houses of Worship and other places that provide spiritual care, both in person and on social media, we are struggling. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">In a private Facebook group of church leaders, someone recently asked the question, "So, how are you doing? No, I mean how are you doing, really?" Of the 90+ responses to the question, do you know how many responded positively..? </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">None. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Zero. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Responses included: "struggling and grieving," "tired of feeling like a failure in every aspect of my life," "I'm really not ok," "over-functioning to hold back feelings of despair," "bracing for impact," "overwhelmed all the time," "depressed and anxious," "totally drained," "sad," "burned out," "deeply hurting," "trying to make it through this still wanting to be a pastor," and the responses just went on and on. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Because your professional worship leaders are not ok right now.</span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">We are carrying the emotional burdens you are carrying during these stressful wtf-times...AND many of us are feeling the extreme stress of the necessity to put our very bodies in places of risk of the Coronavirus to do our jobs/live out our calls...AND we are deeply missing our relational interactions and affirmations...and we are beyond exhausted. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">Because we are not ok right now. </span></p><p><span style="font-size: medium;">This is not a "who has it worse" post...because as, aforementioned, no one is ok right now. Everyone is struggling and everyone's struggles are valid. <br /><br />This is just a reminder, if you haven't checked on your clergy/worship leaders in a while, and even if they are still smiling and trying to maintain a positive spirit in public, they are not ok either. They are struggling deeply...so please, check on them. </span></p><p><br /></p>naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-60132340769488525722017-12-12T14:39:00.001-08:002017-12-12T14:46:34.583-08:00How Evangelicals Have Been Hoodwinked: Rapture Theory, US American Politics, And The Potential Destruction of Israel And Palestine The history of the Holy Land is long and bloody and complicated.<br />
Unfortunately, US American politics has added tremendously to the complications by believing the BS that is the Rapture Theory. <br />
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And BS, it is:<br />
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In 1827, John Nelson Darby, a disgruntled parish priest in the Church of Ireland, fell from a horse and was seriously injured. In the cases of many near-death experiences, he began to question his life and faith. Over the course of five years he developed the pre-tribulation rapture doctrine “wherein Christ will suddenly remove His bride, the Church, from this world to its heavenly destiny before the judgments of the tribulation.”<br />
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In 1831 John Nelson Darby left the church and was no longer committed to the priesthood in any fashion. <br />
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Around the same time, Margaret MacDonald, of Port Glasgow, Scotland, had an unusual dream, some would call it a trance or an utterance given to her by the Holy Spirit, which further bolstered Darby’s theory. <br />
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KEEP IN MIND: this dude, Darby, made the Rapture Theory up ALL BY HIMSELF.<br />
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In 1873, Cyrus Ingerson Scofield, was appointed US District Attorney for Kansas, but that same year Scofield was forced to resign "under a cloud of scandal" because of questionable financial transactions, that may have included accepting bribes from railroads, stealing political contributions, and securing bank promissory notes by forging signatures.<br />
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Later, Scofield defrauded his mother-in-law out of her life savings; he was convicted of forgery and in another case was sent off to prison; he openly carried on with other women; abandoned his wife and family and never sent them a dime of support; when his wife finally divorced him he married the woman with whom he was living; he called himself Doctor (PhD), yet he never went to any college which could convey that degree...and in October 1883, Scofield was ordained as a Congregationalist minister...and in the early 1900’s he began working on the Scofield Reference Bible which contained annotated notes to support the Rapture Theory made up by Darby.<br />
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Friends, the Rapture is NOT Biblical.<br />
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The “Rapture” is considered to be an event in time that will signal the return of Christ to the world. Some folks will be raptured, or “taken up,” to heaven to leave others, who have not followed Christ, on earth to go through years and years of torment. Those who believe in the Rapture also typically believe that the people who will be raptured, have already been chosen. <br />
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Actually, according to Rapture theorists, the numbers tend break down like this; only 200 million people are chosen, which may seem like a lot, but it’s LESS THAN 3% of the ever growing world population. So after 2000 years of spreading the message of Jesus, according to Rapture Theory, 97% of us will not be taken up into God’s glory...and that is a pretty high failure rate for Jesus Christ the Savior and Redeemer of the world.<br />
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That’s pretty sad.<br />
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And so to advertise something like the rapture to people on street corners, not only is it false, but it’s not hopeful. <br />
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And what does this have to do with the Holy Land? <br />
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It is believed that the Jewish people must control Israel (make Jerusalem the undisputed capital of Israel) before Christ can come again. <br />
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I REPEAT: Rapture Theorists believe that the the Jewish people must control Israel before Christ can come again.<br />
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By the United States proclaiming to recognize Jerusalem as Israel's capital, we have now officially taken sides in ways that have destroyed any possibility of a two-state solution and completely delegitimize the United States as an arbiter in the peace process<br />
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Why? <br />
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Not for peace...but because the concept of a theory that was made up by one dude suffering from PTSD following a near-death experience and one dude who was an immoral criminal looking to make a buck by writing a Bible less than 200 years ago, has corrupted our sense of Christianity, our sense of who Jesus is, and yes our US American Politics. naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-52652888868134885462017-01-12T10:21:00.000-08:002017-01-12T10:39:21.732-08:00This Photo Terrifies Me<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF2lAfSpDLlO5Nod2EgKVHHAH1Seb_PCbBzNQAvPpm1O9QURbYbSwOZ5jPk-M_gOWMZSCL_DandVmPnu2k31_Yvtn95jgd_hZkOYKnaZDuUPE3R_IGDmS4R5PmuGoy8NIq7p32YC3kB8U/s1600/pic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiF2lAfSpDLlO5Nod2EgKVHHAH1Seb_PCbBzNQAvPpm1O9QURbYbSwOZ5jPk-M_gOWMZSCL_DandVmPnu2k31_Yvtn95jgd_hZkOYKnaZDuUPE3R_IGDmS4R5PmuGoy8NIq7p32YC3kB8U/s320/pic.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">A high school friend of mine recently found and posted this photograph on her Facebook feed.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-fb0ebe70-93e8-178e-bd00-0eb22261fcea" style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">This photo absolutely terrifies me.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">And it's not because I find it at all embarrassing to see my soon to be seventh grade self with that hair (I'm the one at the very top in the blue shirt).</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">It's because I have no recollection of this moment. None at all. Not the moment this picture was taken, not the birthday we were gathered to celebrate, not the balloon fight we had just prior to gathering for this photo. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">To be fair, this group - or pack, as my mother called us - spent a lot of time together both in and out of school and at various houses, celebrating birthdays throughout the year and having water balloon or snow ball fights frequently over the course of middle and high school, so one could argue that it would be easy to get one or more of those social gatherings confused or mix the details of one party into another.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">And this photo is also over 20 years old. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">But I'm not quite 40. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">It terrifies me because I honestly have no memory of the events surrounding this photograph. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">None.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">There are other moments in my life that are gone too. They just don't exist in my memory any more. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I remember several years ago my sister was recalling a family story where she and I were doing something crazy...but I don't remember at all what it was that she was telling me I had once did with her because not only is the memory of that event in the past gone, but my short term memory of being told about the event didn't quite take hold, so I've lost the initial memory and even the memory of being told the specific memory. (And when my sister reads this and then asks something like, “but what was I telling you about?” my honest answer is that I have no clue.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">My memory is screwed up. I actually have much harsher words to describe how I feel about it, but let’s just stick with “screwed up.” </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in 2006 and for me that includes physical symptoms (numbness and tingling in my extremities, an intentional tremor in my hands, and poor balance, to name a few), mental health symptoms (depression and anxiety), and memory issues. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Most of the physical symptoms I have learned to live with and compensate for. I take medicine that is supposed to stop the progression the disease and I take medicine for some physical symptoms and medicine for my depression and anxiety. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">However, there is no medicine to bring back lost memories. There is no medicine that helps me remember the end of TV shows or movies that I have seen multiple times in the past. There is no medicine that helps me retain more than three or four pages of a book that I’ve never read before. (Which is one of the reasons why I love Harry Potter so much and why I’ve read those books upwards of fifteen or twenty times each, because I know them by heart, but I can still enjoy the characters and the plots that I’m reading without getting frustrated at myself for forgetting the chapter I just read.)</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">My screwed up memory is the thing that bothers me the most about having MS. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I know, I know, it could be worse (and yes, there are people with MS who have much worse symptoms and that sometimes includes much worse memory problems), but the thing is, when I’m only thinking about myself and what MS does to my life, my body, my mental health, and my memory, it really doesn’t matter to me that it could be worse, because, frankly a lot of the time it just plain sucks that I have MS.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I hate that I considered myself a dancer (ballet and some jazz and tap) from first grade all the way through high school graduation and now I struggle to walk a straight line.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I hate that I was decently athletic through high school and part of college and now I’m honestly afraid of being able to stay balanced on a bike. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I hate that I acted in plays throughout elementary and high school and into college, memorizing line after line and monologue after monologue written by other people, and now I can’t memorize a twelve minute sermon that I researched and wrote myself. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I hate that people can’t understand or don’t try to understand that I have chronic health issues simply because I “look so good” and look “too young” to be sick. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">And so you may be wondering how, after living with this diagnosis for over ten years, I have come to peace with all of this.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Well...I haven’t come to peace with it on some days and on other days I have. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The nature of the disease is that no two consecutive days are the same for my symptoms so no two consecutive days are the same with my acceptance. </span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">I know that in the midst of it, I am blessed to have my best friend and husband be incredibly patient with me day to day as I ask the same question about the same thing (TV show, scheduling issue, technology question, etc.) again and again. I am blessed to have family and friends who are not just patient, but don’t constantly ask me how I am feeling or treat me like I am sick. I am blessed that I have doctors I trust (who have assured me my memory probably won’t get worse), I am blessed that I have found an online community in a secret Facebook group of other young clergy women with chronic illness who just “get it” when whatever the “it” is needs to be said.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></b>
</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">However, what I simply want while living with this illness and all of the chaotic issues that accompany it, is that you please don’t assume. Don’t assume about anyone, but please don’t assume that because of external assumptions you make about me that I’m not struggling with symptoms and/or that my symptoms aren't bothering me. Please don’t assume that even when I “look so good” there aren’t days that my body is screaming at me on the inside in multiple ways. Please don’t assume that I’m being lazy when I take a sick day even though I don’t look sick or when all I do on my day off is sleep (truly, all day from 9:00a-4:00p). Please don’t assume, as much as I love and respect you, that I’m going to remember every moment we’ve shared.</span></span></div>
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<span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">For now, I am healthy, given the fact that I have an incurable autoimmune disease. Being healthy with MS still comes with some pretty significant health issues, but I’ll take what I can get. </span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">And even though I don’t remember the events surrounding this photo at all, I will revel in the comments made by my peers who were in the picture with me and, without having to remember, I will know in my heart that were having a fantabulous time.</span></span></span>naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-58166377544792901262016-06-13T09:21:00.000-07:002016-06-13T12:21:18.454-07:00Untold Stories - Sermon from June 12 - 4th Sunday After Pentecost<h1 class="bible_verse" style="background-color: white; line-height: 34px; margin: 0px 0px 15px;">
<i style="font-family: georgia, "times new roman", serif; font-size: small;">Luke 7:36-8:3</i></h1>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>7:36 One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee's house and took his place at the table. 37 And a woman in the city, who was a sinner, having learned that he was eating in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster jar of ointment. 38 She stood behind him at his feet, weeping, and began to bathe his feet with her tears and to dry them with her hair. Then she continued kissing his feet and anointing them with the ointment. 39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw it, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what kind of woman this is who is touching him—that she is a sinner." 40 Jesus spoke up and said to him, "Simon, I have something to say to you." "Teacher," he replied, "speak." 41 "A certain creditor had two debtors; one owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 When they could not pay, he canceled the debts for both of them. Now which of them will love him more?" 43 Simon answered, "I suppose the one for whom he canceled the greater debt." And Jesus said to him, "You have judged rightly." 44 Then turning toward the woman, he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has bathed my feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. 45 You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. 47 Therefore, I tell you, her sins, which were many, have been forgiven; hence she has shown great love. But the one to whom little is forgiven, loves little." 48 Then he said to her, "Your sins are forgiven." 49 But those who were at the table with him began to say among themselves, "Who is this who even forgives sins?" 50 And he said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you; go in peace."</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><i>8:1 Soon afterwards he went on through cities and villages, proclaiming and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God. The twelve were with him, 2 as well as some women who had been cured of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, 3 and Joanna, the wife of Herod's steward Chuza, and Susanna, and many others, who provided for them out of their resources.</i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This is my Bible that I bought, or maybe it was given to me, the summer I started working at Lutheridge - in 1998. It has obviously been used...I have highlighted my favorite verses and stories, I have kept little remembrances of Bible studies shared with campers and in churches, I have folded and unfolded pages to mark sections...it is well loved. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have always felt like the stories in the Bible are my stories, they are our stories, because they tell us about our ancestors in the faith, and these stories tell us about who we are now...these are stories but they are also truth. Just because something is a story, doesn’t mean it isn’t true...these stories tell us the truth about our ancestors, they tell us the truth about God, they tell us the truth about ourselves. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I believe that the Bible is the inspired word of God. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I also believe and know that there are a lot of stories that are missing from this book. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You see, there are 188 women referred to by name in the Bible...compared to the 1181 men referred to by name. Only 14,000 words are spoken by women in the scriptures, which means that only about 1.2% of the words in the Bible are said by women</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">(Bible Women: Their words and why they matter - Lindsay Hardin freeman). </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">See...here’s the thing...the Bible, the word of God inspired by the Spirit, was written in over a vast period of time, but still, it was written in a particular time, in a particular place, to some particular people - though the time periods and the place and yes, even the audience, change, it was still written with some particularities in mind...one of those particularities is that the writers were all men and they were all living throughout time periods that were steeped in a patriarchal culture; which is to say, the culture they lived in, from the home to the government and everything in between was controlled by men. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am not trying to put a negative spin on this. Simply stating the facts. Women were considered “less than” and in some cases, weren’t regarded at all. This the the culture that our Bible came from - male dominated...male ruled. I still fully believe with my whole heart that the Bible was and is inspired by God and there are many, many places in scripture where I know God is speaking to me - Old and New Testaments, alike - however, there are a lot of stories in the scriptures that we don’t hear, but that doesn’t make them any less true. And just because those stories aren’t found in scripture, it doesn’t mean God ignores them or sees them as less than or disregards them.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This morning, we have several stories of women who are disregarded or seen as less than simply because they are women and their stories weren’t seen as important. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">First Bathsheba - we know this woman, don’t we? We’ve heard the story of David and Bathsheba time and time again, haven’t we? But what do we really know about her in comparison to David? Our reading this morning gives us the second part of the story of David and his sin, but if we were to go back several verses we would read that David was being a creep and he was spying on Bathsheba while she was taking a bath on her roof as a part of the purification ritual following her menstrual cycle. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">David, liked what he saw, and even after he learns that Bathsheba is the wife of of another, a man in his army, no less, scripture says, “he sent messengers to get her, and she came to him, and he lay with her.” Later, she finds out she is pregnant, so David does everything he can to cover his transgression...even sending Bathsheba’s husband out to the front lines where he knows the fighting will be the heaviest and the opponents the toughest. Bathsheba’s husband dies on the front and she mourns the death of her husband. Then David takes her as another one of his wives. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bathsheba, never has a voice in any of this. Not only do we not hear her side of the story, but it is easily assumed that her affair with David was not her choice either. David sent to messengers to bring her to the castle after noticing her beautiful, naked body while she was taking a bath. We could ask a couple of questions here - why was she on the roof, of all places, taking a bath? Why didn’t she say no to the messengers of the king? The answer to the first is a simple matter of victim blaming, it doesn’t matter where she was taking a bath; the second answer is that no one, especially a woman with little to no control over her own autonomy said no to the king, the power structure was not in her favor at all. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe you learned somewhere along the way, like I think I did, that Bathsheba was some sort of temptress...but I think when we really look at this story, it is one of another voiceless woman in scripture who was the victim of the power structures of her day and the king himself.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Then, several hundred years later is the story of the sinful woman who entered Simon’s house. What do we know about her? That she is a sinner? Yes. That she longs for forgiveness of her sins and she knows Jesus is the messiah who will forgive her? Yes. That she is a prostitute? No. Although, I’m guessing this is a part of the narrative you grew up with, I know I did, that she was a prostitute, because, of course, there is no other way for a woman to sin...there is nothing else a woman could do to seek the Lord’s forgiveness so boldly...I’m I selling the sarcasm here? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Let’s see...I sin on a pretty regular basis...I’m human, I sin...I’m a woman so my only sin can be prostitution? No, that’s not right...that has never, ever been a sin that I have committed (and the sin of the cycle of abuse and brokenness that prostitution is not solely the fault of the woman...but that’s a sermon for another time). This is all to say that nowhere in scripture is there any evidence at all that the woman in our Gospel this morning is a prostitute. It’s just not supported by scripture and we don’t have any specific historical information about this woman, because she’s a woman, so let’s just go ahead and acknowledge that her sin is probably something other than prostitution. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And then the last three verses in our Gospel may be the most overlooked “Soon afterwards Jesus went on through cities and villages, proclaiming and bringing the good news of the kingdom of God. The twelve were with him, as well as some women who had been cured of evil spirits and infirmities: Mary, called Magdalene, from whom seven demons had gone out, and Joanna, the wife of Herod's steward Chuza, and Susanna, and many others, who provided for them out of their resources” (Luke 8:1-3).</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because did you know that women followed Jesus? It’s the twelve that get the most written action about their stories, because men, but there were women who followed Jesus and supported him and the disciples out of their own resources. These were probably independently wealthy women, which is saying that they probably held quite a status in their culture as women with their own money and resources, which was close to unheard of, and yet we just get these three little verses about the amazing women, who believed in the message of Jesus, who gave up their way of life to follow him, and who gave up their money to support him and the disciples. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">One of these women, was Mary Magdalene. But please let this be heard, despite popular church tradition (and musicals like “Jesus Christ, Superstar,”) Mary Magdalene was NOT a prostitute. You see, the early church, the church the first couple of hundred of years after Christ, had no idea what to do with women of faith. Still being a patriarchal society, the role of women within the church was severely restricted and the Church was looking for the best role model for women of faith, and women seeking faith, so the men of the early church, took several different women from the scriptures and smushed them all together into one archetype of the ultimate sinful woman in need of redeeming by Jesus and that’s why we think know know Mary Magdalene to be a prostitute and the one who washed Jesus’ feet with her tears and hair. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s just not true. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mary Magdalene was plagued with seven demons and Jesus cured her, so she became a follower of Christ who supported him out of her own pocket. Mary Magdalene who became known as the “apostle to the apostles” because she was the first to share the good news of the risen Lord...she was not a prostitute. You may be glad to know that the Pope made an official apology to St. Mary Magdalene and pardoned her of the title of prostitute…in 1969.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So...within the predetermined lectionary of readings this week, it is hard week for women who should have their voices heard. Within the current events of this week, it is a hard week for women who should have their voices heard. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe you haven’t heard, because it didn’t take the national news by storm, but the Latvian Lutheran Church, voted by super-majority at their annual meeting to no longer ordain women. They’ve been ordaining women for over 40 years, and now, they have revoked that right to women who feel called to the priesthood...my rostered sisters around the world have been grieving this week, because now more women in the faith have had their voice take away. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And remember those girls kidnapped by Boko Haram over two years ago? DO you remember them? Their story has slipped past the headlines too, because it’s been too long for our 24hr news cycle. 219 of those girls are still missing...and did you know that more get kidnapped on on regular basis. Those girls, who are now living lives of utter hell, where are their voices? Where are their stories? </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Yes, it has been a tough week for women. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Even “Emily Doe” the young woman who was the victim in the Stanford rape case, even though she made her voice heard this week, breaking the internet with her eloquent letter to her attacker that went viral, even she, wasn’t heard by our justice system. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My friend, Colleen Montgommery wrote and shared this on her FaceBook feed this week: </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“O Lord, it is a hard week to be a woman when the named sin of David is the taking of the little lamb Bathsheba not the sin that David committed against her.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">O Lord, it is a hard week to be a woman when an unnamed woman is a pawn in the Pharisees game, when her character is slandered, even if her faith has set her free.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">O Lord, it is a hard week to be a woman when the contributions of Mary, Joanna, and Susanna are forgotten.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">O Lord, it is a hard week to be a woman when the ordination of women is taken away from my sisters in Latvia.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">O Lord, it is a hard week to be a woman when the potential of a young man is more important than the crime he committed against a young woman, his "mistake" more important than her horror.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">O Lord, it is a hard week to be a woman.”</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This has been on my heart. These are some of the stories that I have wept over...the stories of Bathsheba in the Old Testament, the sinful woman assumed by all of time and history to be a prostitute in the Gospel, the patriarchal notion that "forgets" how many women supported Jesus and the disciples out "of their own resources," the women in the Latvian Lutheran Church, the kidnapped girls, Emily Doe, and all the women in my life and throughout the world who are silently carrying their stories of pain, victimization, and abuse. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But their stories don’t end in silence. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Bathsheba and David would have another son, who, of all of his sons, would take David’s place on the throne. Bathsheba would become the queen mother, which is the most prestigious role a woman could hold in her day. Does that make the ways she was wronged, less wrong? No, but I do think there is a bit of justice in the way she is elevated at the end of her life. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The sinful woman in Luke, hopefully we can all carry forth justice for her story and change the way she has been labeled as a prostitute, but most importantly we know, that when others refused to see her or were ashamed of her presence, Jesus saw her, loved her, and forgave her...just like Jesus was constantly seeing and giving voice to those who most needed it. Jesus saw the importance of women in ministry, even if the writers of the Bible didn’t want to admit it and the early church glossed over it, and parts of the world still deny it, Jesus saw it and sees it. Jesus loved them and included them so that their witness would have voice in the world for the sake of the Gospel and that’s justice. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">For women all over the world who feel called to be leaders in the church, Jesus sees and knows who they are too and though it may take time, there are people empowered by the Spirit calling forth a change. That’s justice. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Those girls...those 219 girls...may they know that they are not alone. May they know that there are people all over this world who are also empowered by the Spirit to keep their stories alive and advocate to bring them home so that they too can have justice. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Emily Doe, in a way she poetically, created her own justice where our system failed her, her letter to her attacker was undeniably, the most moving thing I have ever read. If you haven’t read it, please do and let it inspire you to be in conversation with others about this rape culture that we live, let it inspire you to pray for and move to seek justice for all other women in this country - one in four - who have been and will be violated in their lifetimes. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This week has been hard for women...hopefully men you have felt it too as members of the human race and brothers in Christ with those who have been hurting, where one member hurts, we all do. This week has been hard...and yet there is hope. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There is hope in how many women have opened up publicly and to each other about their stories of sexual assault so that Emile Doe can feel less alone, so that their voices can be heard too, some for the first time. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There is hope that, politics aside, this country has its first ever female as a presumptive nominee of a major political party. There is hope that women’s voices in politics are starting to be heard.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There is hope every time we share the unspoken stories; every time we stand with those who feel unheard or mislabeled or ignored. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There is hope that Emily Doe has chosen to remain anonymous, but not quiet, as she has released another public statement: “I remain anonymous, yes to protect my identity. But it is also a statement, that all of these people are fighting for someone they don't know. That's the beauty of it. I don't need labels, categories, to prove I am worthy of respect, to prove that I should be listened to. I am coming out to you as simply a woman wanting to be heard. Yes there is plenty more I'd like to tell you about me. For now, I am every woman."</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There is hope that we, all of us, who feel unheard or feel less than or are mislabeled, there is the hope and the knowledge that Jesus sees you. Jesus knows you. Jesus claims you and your story too. When you need it, Jesus forgives you. But most importantly, Jesus loves you, and that’s justice. </span></div>
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<br />naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-609696803059071112016-05-05T11:53:00.000-07:002016-05-05T17:33:09.644-07:00An Open Letter to Governor Pat McCrory<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Dear Governor McCrory, </span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">My heart is heavy and has been for weeks. Actually, it's more than heavy, I'm truly heartsick over the rushed passing of <a href="http://www.charlotteobserver.com/news/politics-government/article68401147.html" target="_blank">House Bill 2</a>, what is nationally being called "the bathroom bill." </span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">From my perspective as a white, cisgender, mother of one young son, there is so much more wrong with it than just the blatant discrimination against people who are <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kidsinthehousecom/what-is-transgender-beyon_b_9825210.html" target="_blank">transgender </a>- people who identify with the gender that is opposite of what they were assigned at birth. The truth is that LGBTQ (Lesbian-Gay-Bisexual-Transgender-Questioning) youth and adults are statistically much more likely to be harmed in a public restroom than any other population of people.</span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">According to many national studies, including <a href="http://www.transequality.org/issues/resources/national-transgender-discrimination-survey-executive-summary" target="_blank">this one</a> by the National Center for Transgender Equality, transgender youth and adults live with a higher risk of bullying, physical and sexual harassment, severe depression, attempted and completed suicide attempts. These facts alone make me sad and heartsick...and now, with HB2, you have succeeded in further marginalizing an already at risk and victimized group of people. You have also infringed upon their legal right, and the right of any other minority group, to pursue claims of discrimination. </span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">This makes me sad. </span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">However, another piece about HB2 that makes me sad...no...makes me mad, is that, once again, I feel like a group of men (because our North Carolina political leadership is mostly men) have come together to legally tell me, as a woman, what I should be fearful of and legally tell me, as a woman, how they are going to take care of me from this so-called perceived danger of transgender women using the same public bathroom I may be using with my young son. </span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO THIS - women in this country, and yes, in North Carolina, are more at risk in THEIR OWN HOMES than in a public restroom. </span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If you are serious about my safety and the safety of all women in this state, please start taking domestic violence seriously. Here are some staggering statistics from the <a href="http://www.ncadv.org/learn/statistics" target="_blank">National Coalition Against Domestic Violence</a>: </span></span><br>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;"> - Every 9 seconds in the US, a woman is assaulted or beaten.<br> - Only 34% of people who are injured by intimate partners receive medical care for their injuries.<br> - 1 in 5 women in the United States has been raped in their lifetime and almost half of those victims, were raped by an acquaintance or intimate partner. <br> - 1 in 15 children are exposed to intimate partner violence each year, and 90% of these children are eyewitnesses to this violence.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Children in this country, and yes, in North Carolina, are more at risk of being preyed upon by SOMEONE THE FAMILY ALREADY KNOWS than a stranger in a public restroom.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">If you are serious about the safety of children in this state, please start taking child abuse and neglect seriously. <a href="http://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org/sites/default/files/download-files/2013NorthCarolina.pdf" target="_blank">The statistics from </a></span><a href="http://www.nationalchildrensalliance.org/sites/default/files/download-files/2013NorthCarolina.pdf" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;" target="_blank">National Children's Alliance about reported child abuse in North Carolina</a><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"> in 2013 make it obvious only about 8% of abusers were unknown by their victims, which means that 92% of abused children knew their perpetrators.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Conversely, s</span><span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">pokespeople from the Transgender Law Center, the Human Rights Campaign, and the American Civil Liberties Union have no statistical evidence that a trans person has ever attacked a cisgender person in a public restroom. The National Center for Transgender Equality has <a href="http://mic.com/articles/114066/statistics-show-exactly-how-many-times-trans-people-have-attacked-you-in-bathrooms#.XwrmONK0I" target="_blank">"not heard of a single instance of a transgender person harassing a non-transgender person in a public restroom. Those who claim otherwise have no evidence that this is true and use this notion to prey on the public's stereotypes and fears about transgender people."</a> Laws like HB2 and others are vehicles for instilling fear of trans and gender-nonconforming people.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">The statistics speak for themselves. Governor McCrory and North Carolina law-makers, please quit legislating out of ignorance and fear. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">If you are serious about the safety of women and children in this state, then find ways to educate about sexual harassment, bullying, and abuse. Find ways to teach our young people about matters of consent and rape-culture. Find ways to educate about <a href="https://www.publicintegrity.org/accountability/education/sexual-assault-campus" target="_blank">sexual assault on college campuses</a>. Find ways to educate whole families and communities about child abuse and neglect. Fund organizations that are working to educate on these issues. Fund organizations that are working with the victims, children and adults, of abuse and sexual violence.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">There are ways that you can legitimately work to keep women and children safe in this state. HB2 is not one of those ways. HB2 does nothing more than perpetuate the myth that transgender and non-gender conforming individuals are child predators. HB2 does nothing to protect women and children in restrooms, it does nothing to protect anyone, in fact, it may actually put transgender people in more danger, (but that has yet to be proven). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">As long as you stand by HB2, as a voter in North Carolina, you will never have my vote. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Sincerely, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Rev. Naomi Sease Carriker</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">Charlotte, NC</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">#HB2 </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large;">#WeAreNotThis</span></div>
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naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-312470374504683882016-02-24T11:14:00.002-08:002016-02-24T11:15:20.116-08:00No, My Son Is Not Lucky<h2 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 18pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It seems to be inevitable that when people find out that my husband and I adopted our son, we hear comments like "he's so lucky he got you" or "what a lucky boy to have you for parents." </span></h2>
<h2 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 18pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">While I know that these comments come from a genuine positive place of recognition of our (mostly) happy little family and I'm flattered that people notice that our parenting skills do rock, phrases like these make me cringe on the inside, even if I do a good job of hiding that reaction from the one giving the "complement."</span></h2>
<h2 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 18pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The truth is, my son is not lucky.</span></h2>
<h2 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 18pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">To call him lucky really denies some serious pain and grief that has already occurred in his little life. To call him lucky really denies that the first year and a half of his life was filled with sorrow that no child should ever endure. To call him lucky really denies that even his time in utero was not healthy. To call him lucky really denies a huge part of his story that is not filled with care and joy and all the other things that babies need in order to survive and thrive. To call him lucky really denies all of these events that will forever shape and form him, even if he cannot remember them. </span></h2>
<h2 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 18pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Am I glad that we have him? Yes. Am I filled with joy every single day because he is my son? Yes! Am I glad that he chose us (because he really chose us just as much as we chose him)? Yes, absolutely! Are we lucky? Sure, in some ways we are, in mostly the same ways other families are, but it's not luck or God's blessing that brought us together. </span></h2>
<h2 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 18pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We were brought together because some adults who were not really ready to have a child, or raise a child, or care for a child (because they couldn't even take care of themselves) had a child. We were brought together because some other adults (doctors, nurses, and a whole team of medical staff) intervened so that my son would have fighting chance. We were brought together because some other adults (Children and Youth Services) realized that my son's situation was dire enough to have him removed from that situation. We were brought together because some other adults took our son into their home for a temporary time to be his parents (his foster family) and help him start getting the care and love that he so desperately needed and deserved. </span></h2>
<h2 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 18pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We were brought together because the system in our country that is place to care for children in need worked and it worked relatively well, but within that short time before we were brought together by some really, really loving and compassionate adults who were making up for some really, really crappy decisions made by his birth parents, my son was far from lucky, he was far from blessed, he was in his own little hell that I carry in my heart always. A hell that I couldn't protect him from because I wasn't his mommy then, a hell that no child should live through, a hell that does not make him lucky. </span></h2>
<h2 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 18pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And so what is he? He is a fighter. He is brave beyond any words. He is beautiful and artistic and sensitive and joyful. He also might be one of the strongest and most courageous people I know because he not only had the strength to save himself by surviving a terrible situation, but he also had the courage and the strength to learn to open up to love and to be loved by others. </span></h2>
<h2 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 18pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, if you're looking for the right words when in conversation with an adoptive family, try this, "thank you." Thank you for living through the stress of adoption. Thank you for working through the system to forge a family. Thank you for bearing your own pain (because there might be A LOT of grief within the adoptive family too) and thank you for bearing your child's pain to be the loving parents that you are. </span></h2>
<h2 dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 6pt; margin-top: 18pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Adoptive families are not formed by luck, they usually formed by a lot of pain and heartbreak, but ultimately they are formed by love. </span></h2>
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<span id="docs-internal-guid-8e404ebb-14b4-0f27-eb4f-7a6cc73a56f1"><span style="font-family: "georgia"; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">No, my son is not lucky, but he is loved beyond words. </span></span>naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-32568995092268218702015-12-21T12:14:00.000-08:002015-12-21T12:14:35.546-08:00I Became A Mother In A Parking Lot <span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Motherhood is such a loaded word. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">How different mothers live into motherhood is always going to be very different, even when it's sort of the same. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">How mothers become mothers is a little more similar than different. The baby has got to come out of the female body - vaginally or cesarean. Of course, where and how babies are born differ in so many ways, depending on culture, geography, socioeconomic status, preference, and many other factors, but the truth is, there are two ways for a baby to come into the world.<br /><br />Most mothers I know experienced this sort of introduction to motherhood - pregnancy, labor, delivery, and infant. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">A fewer number of mothers I know had a much different sort of <a href="http://thoughtsonlifestuff.blogspot.com/2014/03/labor-and-delivery.html" target="_blank">labor and delivery</a>. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">As a mother through adoption, my delivery occurred in a parking lot of a park and ride off of the Pennsylvania Turnpike. This was the same parking lot that my husband and I had met to pick up or drop off our son from and with his foster family for several pre-adoptive visits prior to his permanent home coming. This parking lot wasn't special, it was just a simple matter of accessibility. It was about the mid-way point between us and my son's foster family, so that's where we met. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We came to know this particular parking-lot really well. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">However, on December 20, 2013 there would be no trip back to trade him off once again. This time, we were picking him up to bring him home for good. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">We met in our usual spot, but this time everyone piled out of the cars as we moved the few things he had into our car, took pictures, shared hugs, and said thank yous and goodbyes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My husband sat in the backseat with our son on the way home. As I drove on the Turnpike, watching occasionally and cautiously in the rear-view mirror at my growing family, it struck me that I just became a mother. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was a new mom and, though the labor and delivery were much different, I was definitely feeling all the feelings of a new mom: </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was overjoyed. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was excited. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was terrified. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And I cried as I watched my family in the backseat - joy and fear, excitement and intimidation - I cried because I had just become a mother in a parking lot. </span><br />
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<br />naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-89035954021876746392015-08-10T12:45:00.000-07:002015-08-11T07:20:46.509-07:00 "He Ate The Whole Biscuit!"<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVWG88WA2t_FC_6P2TJaBLSqGPtUbEGO0ss9IvXpOCgZDhxXaYOhb8VA7RI9Va1AQO_HMbmUgOf-shLcTJW5xWjJhir69OP4tRKahNDv5VsLca-GmOsBgvVKOcpMWBsuzCqGeanYc1ZxA/s640/blogger-image--1810230170.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgVWG88WA2t_FC_6P2TJaBLSqGPtUbEGO0ss9IvXpOCgZDhxXaYOhb8VA7RI9Va1AQO_HMbmUgOf-shLcTJW5xWjJhir69OP4tRKahNDv5VsLca-GmOsBgvVKOcpMWBsuzCqGeanYc1ZxA/s640/blogger-image--1810230170.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /><span style="font-size: large;">I received this picture as a text message this morning from my son's daycare teacher with the text "He ate the whole biscuit!" I was sitting at my desk at work when I opened the text and I actually started to cry. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />Tears of Joy.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br />My boy is so much like other three year olds in so many ways, that sometimes it's difficult for others to see how much he has struggled in his short little life. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Eating is one of those struggles.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">For various reasons, my son did not really start eating solid foods until he was almost 19 months old. For those of you who have raised children or are in the throes of raising little ones now, just think about that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Actually, just think about what it takes to eat in general: how your mouth has to move so that your teeth grind the food; how you have to keep your lips closed (for the most part, anyway) to keep from making a mess; how you have to get used to textures and tastes; how to keep the food from sliding and hiding in your cheeks; how to know when you've chewed the food enough so that you can swallow it without choking; how its feels to swallow food; this list can go on, but the mechanics of eating are quite complex which is why babies are introduced to soft solids early in life. It's a learning process. One that my son was not introduced to at a developmentally appropriate age. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So my husband and I began our parenting journey with some unique challenges, one of which was teaching our son how to eat. We had the help of doctors and specialists. We had a nutritionist come to the house every other week for weigh-ins and discuss strategies. We went to a feeding clinic for feeding therapy. We spent months with our little guy strapped into a high-chair (long past the age that most kids want to sit in a booster seat or real chair). We spent meal after meal eating with our mouths open so that he could actually see the process of chewing. Throughout meals, we would periodically open our mouths (yes, with chewed food) so he could see what it looked like. We would say "Ah!" really loudly after swallowing and again open our mouths so he could see that the food was gone. His wonderful daycare providers would sit and spoon feed him baby food while the rest of his peers were eating their lunches of regular leftovers. Needless to say, eating has been a huge challenge. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">And while most parents know the frustration at one time or another of cooking a hot meal, only to have it thrown on the floor or across the table or fed to the dog, I know that frustration too, but I also know the pain watching my child choke or think he's choking with almost every bite because of a sensitive gag reflex. I know the pain of having a roll of paper towels handy at every meal because vomiting was a pretty common occurrence (yes, at almost every meal). But mostly, I know the pain of severe anxiety that if he didn't make enough progress we would be facing some pretty serious medical interventions like an NG tube placed down his nose or a feeding tube surgically placed in his stomach.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">However, with perseverance, help from professionals, and good luck, we have avoided medical intervention and my son has started making progress. He's still not quite on the chart and he still has a medical diagnosis of failure to thrive, but he's making progress. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">He has foods he likes, he tries new foods, and he will open our pantry to pick out his own snacks. Our pantry which is stocked with all the snacks I know to be unhealthy - the sugar and high fructose corn syrup abound in our "food closet." It is filled with all sorts of snack foods right at eye level. Snack foods that I know many parents raising health-conscious kids would balk at - off-brand Doritos, cheesy poofs, crackers, gummy snacks, granola bars - but snacks that my son will eat. He will eat!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">So, I don't talk meals or food choices with other parents because others are pretty quick to judge about eating patterns and routines. I was raised by a health/family and consumer science teacher. I knew about proteins, trans-fats, and carbs long before the general public assumed those words in our societal vocabulary. Every time I open a new bag of chips, I feel the weight of the phrase "poor food choices," but I open the bag of chips that I know he will eat and my heart is happy, because he is eating, actually eating. Feeding himself, chewing, swallowing (without gagging or vomiting), and reaching in the bowl for more. For more! These are victories in my house, not poor food choices, but victories. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">So today, my son ate a biscuit...and I cried happy tears because "He ate the whole biscuit!"</span></div>
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naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-16408608531478721372015-05-26T08:37:00.001-07:002015-05-26T08:40:16.471-07:00My Son's New Shoes<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">I went shoe shopping with my 3 and a half year old son last week. In an attempt to let him practice some autonomy, I let him pick out his shoes. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large;">He quickly bypassed Batman, Lightning McQueen, and all other "boy" shoes because his eyes were caught by a pair of pink sparkly shoes, decorated with the faces of the the queen and princess from Frozen. My son LOVES Frozen (and even that is an understatement), so of course he would LOVE those shoes. He shouted "Anna! Elsa!" and then grabbed the box and held it to his chest. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I really didn't hesitate. I asked him simply, "Are you going to wear those shoes?" He responded with a resounding, "Yes!" (Plus they were on sale, so that was great.)</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">For the record, my boy has never liked shoes that much, he wears them out of necessity, but he's never had a fondness for footwear in general. These shoes, though, he was practically begging to wear out of the store. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">He and I made our way to the cashier and he just kept babbling about Anna and Elsa. I was actually pretty proud of the whole shopping trip in general - he had listened well, held my hand the whole time, was engaging in conversation, and was really happy - so I was happy. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was happy to pay for the new shoes. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was happy to let him hold his shoes all the way home (we didn't put them on in the store). </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was happy when he asked to hear his songs in the car - U2's album, Songs of Innocence. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I was happy...until I thought about how pink those shoes were. Really pink. And really sparkly. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">As we drove home, my heart went from joyful over the whole positive shopping experience, to just plain fearful. Those shoes in a matter of 20 minutes went from being a great chance for my son to make his own choices, to everything that I will not be able to protect my son from - teasing, mean people, accidents - all of it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">Those shoes would probably not result in much teasing at his age (though we have had some neighborhood boys ask why he's wearing "girl shoes") but those shoes are just the first of many choices that I know my son will make in his life that will result in having to deal with mean and misguided people. Mean and misguided people that I will not be able to protect him from. Mean and misguided people that he's going to have to figure out a way to deal with in the moment, hopefully by standing up for his beliefs with grace and courage. And I fear, because of those shoes, he will be dealing with mean and misguided people a lot sooner than I think I was ready for. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">However, I know that my son is strong. I know most parents say this about their children, but my child has been through more in his short little life than anyone should ever have to...and he not only fought through and survived, he came through it being compassionate and sensitive, loving and willing to be loved. This says a lot about the strength I know he has to stand up to the mean and misguided people he will encounter. It also helps me to know that he will be ok. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">For now, he has been joyfully showing off his shoes to almost everyone and he hasn't heard the negative comments or seemed to have noticed the snickering as much as I have. For now, we will celebrate the fact that he loves (LOVES) his new shoes despite what others may think. For now, and for always, I will love my son and will do my best to be supportive...for all of the "new shoes" that we encounter in the future.</span><br />
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naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-77444586589813844072015-04-29T12:20:00.004-07:002016-05-02T12:36:40.497-07:00Mother's Day Anxiety<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Mother’s Day is fast approaching. It’s a little less than three weeks away. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have been keeping a count-down of sorts to this holiday.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s a holiday that was started in the United States in 1908 by Anna Jarvis to honor her mother, who was a peace activist who cared for wounded soldiers on both sides of the Civil War, and to honor all mothers, “the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world.” Which is actually very cool, if you think about how it started. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Of course, now it’s more of holiday that seems to exist more for commercial purposes.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">When I was growing up, Mother’s Day, was typically celebrated by spending time in the flower garden with my mother. That’s all she ever wanted on Mother’s Day, that my sister and I help her plant, weed, and water. I know at times, I was reluctant to participate in this family activity, but for the record, I always looked forward to it.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Early in my married life, Mother’s Day became a day that I quietly celebrated that I didn’t have children. My husband and I were still very free from the responsibility of children and we loved it. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">About six years into our marriage, Mother’s Day became something that I secretly despised, because I wanted to be a mother and I wasn’t. I was tired of being questioned on that day (and many other days throughout the year) about when I would have children. It made me feel sad and isolated and alone.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">And now...I’m a mother. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m a mother of a beautiful, sensitive, funny, strong three year old boy. He is amazing! He fills my heart with joy and love every single day. I couldn’t imagine my life, or our family, without him. He is my son. I am his mother. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">He is also my son through adoption. Which means that another woman carried him and gave birth to him. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">And here is where I struggle with Mother’s Day anxiety.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">I have a lot of feelings about my son’s birth mother which will remain buried deep in my heart and never shared for all of eternity. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">My son’s adoption process, began almost a year and a half ago. He was living with a foster family for several months as a two year old, before coming home to us. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Read into that what you will, but it comes down to the fact that my son was taken from his birth mother by the state and was not returned to her. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, I count down to Mother’s Day...the day that I struggle deeply with a whole host of emotions for the woman who gave birth to my son. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">My heart and my head just cannot process and recognize Mother’s Day as a day to personally celebrate. I celebrate every day that my son is who he is and that he is mine. However, Mother’s Day will never be a day that I proudly proclaim as “my holiday.” </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif; font-size: large; line-height: 1.38; white-space: pre-wrap;">Maybe I’ll just go work in a flower garden and insist that my family help me.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-38121538285347047142015-03-05T09:08:00.003-08:002015-03-05T17:37:29.728-08:00Why I Hate Disney's Tarzan<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My son has decided that Disney's Tarzan (1999) is a new favorite...and frankly, though I am not a super crazy fanatic, I love most things Disney.</span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Tarzan, however, is not my favorite...actually I think I hate it.</span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In case you have missed the basic plot-line of any Tarzan movie, it's pretty straight forward - <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120855/?ref_=nv_sr_1">A man raised by gorillas must decide where he really belongs when he discovers he's human</a> (tag-line straight from Internet Movie Database).</span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Did you catch it? Right there in the brief description of this beautifully produced, award winning movie? </span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">"...when he discovers that he is human." </span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know, I know, this may not seem like much, but I have been in a deep emotional and philosophical struggle with this movie for the past couple of months as my toddler is enthralled with it and we watch it with him up to five times a week.</span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In the words of Phil Collins song, You'll Be In My Heart, my son is "one so small" who "seems so strong." And my son, much like Tarzan, was adopted...no, not by gorillas (though I'm sure some days he sees me as one) and no, his birth parents didn't get eaten by a leopard.</span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(And side note here: Seriously, can this movie be any more depressing and/or emotional?!? In the opening scene, baby Tarzan and his parents are shipwrecked, they build an amazing tree house to start a new life, only to have his parents eaten by a leopard, the same leopard who eats the baby of the mama gorilla. Then mama gorilla finds abandoned baby Tarzan. All scored by a super moving Phil Collin's song. Way to set the scene, Disney.)</span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">However, the fact that my son is adopted is the reason why I hate this movie so much.</span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The mama gorilla, Kala, finds baby Tarzan and brings him back to the band of gorillas and claims, amidst questioning by the others, that she's his mother now. In this scene I am cheering for her - good job, Kala! Way to claim your child! Even though he is clearly not your biological offspring, there is no question in your heart that he is yours. Way to go!</span></span><br>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And then...</span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Kala raises her son to be one of the band of gorillas, which in and of itself is not a bad thing...but Kala NEVER tells her son the truth about who he is. There are scenes throughout the movie where Tarzan notices how he is physically different, but Kala never addresses the why of those differences. It is left up to strangers (Jane and her Father) to help Tarzan discover and claim his human identity when he is a grown man. I repeat, it is not until Tarzan is an ADULT that STRANGERS help him figure out HIS STORY. This is something his mother should have been doing all along. </span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now I realize that this is a movie about action, adventure, tree swinging, and the discovery of self. Disney did not intend this to be a commentary about families formed through adoption and best practices to care for children who are adopted. However, I tend to take it very personally and be very emotional when adopted children (even fictional adopted children) are lied to/not told the truth about their biological past. </span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Every family who has come together through adoption is different. Every family will choose to share details differently and will choose to answer questions differently, but most families, these days, are pretty honest and open with their children about their adoption. </span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Kala did none of this. She, at one point in the movie, helps Tarzan to see how they are the same (they both have eyes, ears, hands, and beating hearts), but she never affirms that "yes, you are different, because...(story however Kala wants to tell it)...but you're still my son and I will love you forever."</span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My son, physically looks a lot like me and my husband, but we have never hidden from him that he was adopted. We tell him about the day we met and we tell him about his adoption day. We also tell him that any time he has questions or wants to know more about his biological past, we will do our best to answer those questions. </span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My son is three years old, but I want him growing up knowing that his adoption story is one for him to embrace. My son also knows that his daddy and I love him "forever and ever and ever and always" and nothing will change that.</span></span><br>
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">For now, I will deal with my anger and frustration over the poor parenting choices by a fictional gorilla mother by crying silently while we watch the movie together and over-eating chocolate while hiding in the kitchen...and I'm breathing a sigh of relief that I think we have moved onto Finding Nemo.</span></span><br>
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naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-28538649856404051092014-06-23T08:44:00.001-07:002015-03-05T08:52:48.640-08:00My Son Reached Out His Hand<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I am a Lutheran Pastor. The congregation where I serve celebrates communion every week, which I think is wonderful. I am a strong advocate of children receiving communion and in the few short years that I have served with this congregation, I have guided many families to the decision to have even their youngest children commune. (The youngest child receiving communion in our congregation is four years old, though he started receiving when he was three and a half.) </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My theological explanation to invite, encourage, and welcome children to the Table is simple: </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">To me, communion is not mine to give or withhold, it is God's gift of himself, that God freely offers to all for the forgiveness of sins, the strengthening of faith, and most importantly (and the one I stress almost every week), because God loves us. Despite proclaiming this, we know that communion is a complete mystery. It is something that God does for us, not something we will ever comprehend, because it is God's gift. We also know that when everyone else would shun them, Jesus welcomed children with open arms. He included them. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">As much as I would like to commune all of the children who come forward, I always leave the decision to their parents, grandparents, or guardians. Even as it is not mine to withhold, it also not mine to force onto a family who does not feel ready, regardless of how much a child reaches to receive. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yesterday, during communion, my two and a half year old son, who is not baptized, reached out his hand to receive the Body of Christ. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">I did not stop and think, I did not mentally seek to justify with doctrine, I did not worry about efficaciousness. I gave him the bread and proclaimed boldly, "Body of Christ given for you." </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: large;">My son, has been my son for six months. My husband and I expect that within the next two months the adoption will be finalized. Our son isn't baptized yet for several reasons, but also because we're waiting so that he can be baptized with his forever family name.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is very uncommon to commune one who is not baptized, and yet he so clearly reached. He has been observing this practice for six months and he knows that something important is happening. So when he reached, I responded, not as his mommy, but as the pastor (with the authority of his mother to make that decision). </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I know that in the years to come, my son will have questions about his faith and God. I know that my son will get angry at God at one or more times in his life. However, I never want my son to think that God is inaccessible, neglectful, or withholding (which are human reactions to God's free gifts of love and grace). My son has already known such human behaviors in his short life. I will not be the one to give a similar face to God and I will always advocate for him to be completely included in the community of Christ. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Yesterday, my son reached out his hand, and yesterday he joyfully received God's love. </span></span></div>
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naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-79771682935617101252014-05-11T04:13:00.000-07:002014-05-12T11:53:52.367-07:00A Prayer For Mother's Day<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12pt;">For
mothers who gave birth to children, for mothers who adopted their children, for
women who became mothers by marrying into a family with children…for women who
have been mothers for a long time and women who are celebrating their first
mothers day…we pray.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For mothers
to be, for mothers with multiple children, for mothers in committed
relationships, for single mothers…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who are super creative and come up with wonderful ways to spend rainy
days indoors…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who kiss the same boo-boo twenty times in one hour because that’s what
their child needs…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who courageously sit in the passenger seat and teach their teenager how
to drive…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who endlessly entertain their children on long car trips with stories,
toys, and songs…we pray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who don’t find the oatmeal on their shirt from breakfast until later in
the afternoon and instead of get frustrated or embarrassed, they just laugh
because breakfast actually went well this morning…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For mothers
of screaming children in the grocery stores…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who are cheerleaders, sideline coaches, waiting in the wings-stage
moms…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who sing “wheels on the bus” and “puff the magic dragon” and make up
their own silly songs to sing to and with their little ones as they dance
around the house together…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who have run to the grocery store forty times already this week and yet
the teenager just won’t stop eating everything in the house…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who feel like unappreciated taxi drivers…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who rub backs and necks and play with hair at bed time and those who
long for the days when their children still wanted them that close…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For mothers
who stay up until well after midnight helping their children with the math
homework or whatever the hell kind of homework it is and who cares because it’s
too damn late for this…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who have already seen the movie Frozen twenty-two times this
month…keeping in mind that the month isn’t even half over…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers of children in away in foreign lands to study abroad, for mothers of
children who live hundreds of miles away, for mothers of children who serve in
the military…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For mothers
who have just recently become empty-nesters and those whose children might live
with them forever…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who sit quietly and anxiously in NICUs, by hospital beds, in emergency
rooms, and in urgent care centers, who wish so desperately that the love in
their heart could simply make their child well…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For mothers
whose patience is running out and yet they still manage to take a deep breath
before loosing their temper…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who are tired from working a full-time job or multiple jobs and then
being up late at night with a sleepless child, but are mostly tired of being told
they look tired…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who will do anything to help their children study for an AP Biology
exam: including, but not limited to, dancing around the kitchen to act out the
life cycle of malaria…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who are navigating the dating world following the death or divorce of a
spouse or life-partner…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
Mothers who find themselves pregnant yet again and then endure the teasing of
“don’t you know how it happens?” and the mothers who long to be pregnant again
and for whatever reason it just isn’t happening…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who thought they were in a relationship where they would have support
in their role as a parent and now find themselves in a one-sided relationship
where there is no common support for children…we pray<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who are working multiple jobs, worried about health-coverage, and just
barely able to support their children through the help of family and friends
and government assistance…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia;"><span style="font-size: small;">For mothers who are incarcerated or are on probation and for the mothers who work for justice and peace</span>…<span style="font-size: small;">we pray.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who have limited capacities, poor resources, and minimal support
systems…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who make bad decisions; both large and small…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who struggle with addictions and mental health issues…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For those
who were abused by their mothers…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For those
who never knew or trusted their mothers…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For the
birthmothers who have the courage and the wisdom to know that they cannot take
care of another human being at this point in their lives so they give their
child up for adoption…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For the
birthmothers who don’t have that wisdom or the resources to care for another
human being and have their children taken away…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For women
who open their hearts and their lives time and time again to foster children
who cannot be with their biological families…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For women
who thought they would be married with at least one, maybe two, children by
now, but none of that is the case and their hearts are filled with ache and
disappointment…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For women
who see that plus sign on a pregnancy test and now begin to freak out about how
much life is going to change.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For women
who long to be pregnant and go through years and years of heartbreak and other
mothers baby showers and questions by strangers about their family plans…we
pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who were only mothers for a brief amount of time – weeks or maybe months
– before they find themselves without child…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
mothers who burry their children…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For
spouses and life-partners who thought the woman they married was going to be
the mother of their children forever and ever and now for whatever reason that
is not the case…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For those
who had to say good-bye to their mothers too soon…or just recently…we pray.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For the
women who may not have children of their own and the women who do, but they are
also mothers to so many others in various ways…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For those
who know how difficult and nuanced Mother’s Day can be…we pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">For those
who feel Mothers Day in their hearts many times throughout the entire year…we
pray. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 12.0pt;">Amen.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-81143745766486380682014-03-10T09:59:00.001-07:002014-03-11T19:02:38.315-07:00Labor And Delivery<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Like most
parents, I think my son is wonderful.
He’s two, so life with him isn’t always wonderful. Actually, it can be down right frustrating,
but the little person he is, is wonderful.
He loves to dance, laugh, snuggle, read books, chase the dog, run around
in circles, make farm animal noises, pretend to be a dinosaur, splash in the
bath, give his stuffed animals kisses…he’s wonderful. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Unlike
most parents, I have known my son for only four months (he has been living with
us for almost three months). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Like most
new parents, my husband and I have been showered with cards, toys, games,
clothes, hand-me-downs, gift-cards, and general excited well wishes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Unlike
most new parents, my son did not gestate to full term in my body, nor did I
give birth to him (natural or otherwise).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Most
people I have encountered in the brief time I have become a mom, have been very
excited and supportive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Most people
share their excitement through hugs, laughter, and yes, tears (of joy).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I truly believe that all who have shared
their joy and excitement have meant well in their jubilation, however there is
one expression I have heard several times from well-intentioned individuals
that has given me pause: “That was the easiest labor and delivery you ever
had.” <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Please
know that the people who have said this phrase to me are wonderful people and I
love them…but I don’t think they thought through their words before sharing in
their excitement (which we are all apt to do). <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is
true, I did not carry my son to term, I did not go through pregnancy with all
its pain that accompanies its joy, my water did not break, and I did not go
through hours upon hours of labor…I did not plan a caesarian birth, a water
birth, a home birth, or a natural birth…I did not have complications with
delivery, end up with an emergency C-section, a premature baby, massive
tearing, or infection/illness following delivery…for the record all that shit
scares me out of my wits, which is one of the reasons why we chose to adopt. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">However,
was it an easy labor and delivery?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ok, so I
didn’t go through all the pain and more that I mentioned above, but my husband
and I had to attend classes, we had to submit our financial information, we had
to divulge all sorts of personal information, we had to have medical evaluations, we had to get background checks and fingerprints, </span></span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 16px;">we had interviews, and </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">we had to
have a home inspection…all prior to being told we were fit to be parents.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">(I am not resentful about this process.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">I fully understand it is place to protect the
children that will be placed with prospective parents.)</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">However, was it easy and pain free?</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Absolutely not.</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Was it exhausting and very invasive?</span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 12pt;">Most definitely.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, my
labor was not easy…it was filled with more pain and heartache than anyone who
has never done will never fully understand. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But
there’s more… <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Again, I
reiterate that I have never given birth to a biological child, but my
understanding from most women I have talked to about childbirth is that, though
it is a pain beyond pain, it is also a pain that fades when a mother sees her
child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, I have and will carry in
my heart a pain for my son that is so deep, so immense, there is nothing that
will make it go away, ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is the
pain of knowing his past, as short as it was, before he was placed with us. It is
the pain of knowing there is nothing I can do to change his past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the pain of knowing that at his most
vulnerable, he was not taken care of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
is a vast and immeasurable pain that I will forever carry in my heart for my
son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My guess
is that most women who have given birth to their children do not meditate
regularly on the physical pain of childbirth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I, on the other hand, will forever carry a heartache that will continue
to stab me with pain throughout my son’s life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This does
not mean that I dwell on my heartache everyday (although it certainly catches
up with me at random and unforeseen times), it also doesn’t eclipse the joy in
my heart that I feel for my son on a pretty continuous basis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am well aware that, like the pain
childbirth, the pain in my heart will lessen over time, but I am also aware, it
will never fully go away and will be with me always. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, was
it an easy labor and delivery?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, not
at all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<br></div>
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<br></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br></div>
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naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-33120086888171813432014-02-26T08:13:00.001-08:002014-02-26T08:32:14.548-08:00I am a wife, mother, pastor…and I have MS<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am a wife.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am a mother.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am a daughter, sister, friend.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I am a pastor.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">…And I have Multiple Sclerosis.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is not s secret, but it's always difficult to share with others because "I look so good" (most of the time)…and I am really very healthy, for me. However, I have a chronic disease and it sucks at times.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">This is a modified sermon that has been preached to a few different faith communities. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It is my "coming out" sermon about my disease based on Psalm 46.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">---------------------</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Pslam 46 - NRSV</span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">God is our refuge and strength,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">a very present help in trouble.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><sup style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 9px; line-height: 10px;">2</sup><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">though the mountains shake in the heart of the sea;</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><sup style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 9px; line-height: 10px;">3</sup><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">though its waters roar and foam,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">though the mountains tremble with its tumult.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><sup style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 9px; line-height: 10px;">4</sup><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">the holy habitation of the Most High.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><sup style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 9px; line-height: 10px;">5</sup><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">God is in the midst of the city; it shall not be moved;</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">God will help it when the morning dawns.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><sup style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 9px; line-height: 10px;">6</sup><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">The nations are in an uproar, the kingdoms totter;</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">he utters his voice, the earth melts.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><sup style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 9px; line-height: 10px;">7</sup><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">The LORD of hosts is with us;</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">the God of Jacob is our refuge.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><sup style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 9px; line-height: 10px;">8</sup><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">Come, behold the works of the LORD;</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">see what desolations he has brought on the earth.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><sup style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 9px; line-height: 10px;">9</sup><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">he breaks the bow, and shatters the spear;</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">he burns the shields with fire.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><sup style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 9px; line-height: 10px;">10</sup><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">"Be still, and know that I am God!</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I am exalted among the nations,</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">I am exalted in the earth."</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><sup style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 9px; line-height: 10px;">11</sup><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">The LORD of hosts is with us;</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; float: left; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; height: 1px; line-height: 20px; width: 25px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'Times New Roman', Times, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">the God of Jacob is our refuge.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">--------------------------------</span></span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Grace and to you and peace, form God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ…</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I absolutely LOVE the book of Psalms! In the Hebrew Bible the title of the collection is the Book of Praises (which in Hebrew is: sefer tehillim), it is abbreviated to just the word, “Praises” (in Hebrew: tehillim). I’m sure most of you have a favorite psalm or you’re at least familiar with verses from psalm 23 “The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want,” or “what are human beings that you are mindful of them, mortals that you care for them?”</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">from psalm 8. Even our Lord expressed His grief at being separated from His Father on the cross by repeating the words of Psalm 22, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you have ever spent any time with the psalms you will find that the psalms speak personally to us…We cannot read very far in the Psalms without drawing the conclusion that the psalmist seems to have been reading our mail or listening in on a private phone call. How is it that after centuries have passed we find a writer who lived in a different time and culture expressing our innermost feelings, fears, and hopes? It seems that wherever we are in our spiritual journey, whatever emotions may be in our hearts may be feeling, whatever struggles we may be going through, we will find a place in the Psalms that resonates and draws us closer to the Lord.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It was Athanasius, an outstanding church leader in the fourth century, who reportedly declared “that the Psalms have a unique place in the Bible because most of the Scripture speaks </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">to us</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, while the Psalms speak </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">for us</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">.”</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Psalms are prayers, poetry, and song…They are our prayers, our words directed to God in petition or praise, they are like beautiful poetry, poetically formulated language, and they are song, they go beyond the mere speaking or even recital of a poem and become music. Psalms are an expression of worship and praise.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">From the psalms we can learn how to enhance our Prayer Life and we learn how to develop our Praise and Worship; the psalms encourage us to be Authentic and Transparent before God and Others; and the psalms teach us more about the Character and Person of God. We learn about God’s Goodness, God’s Sovereignty, God’s Holiness, God’s Wrath, God’s Loving kindness, God’s Mercy, God’s Power, God’s Majesty, and God’s Transcendence. And we become more familiar about our Lord Jesus Christ as we see the Messiah in the Psalms.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Martin Luther said of the psalms: “The Psalter is the favorite book of all the saints … [Each person], whatever his circumstances may be, finds in [the book] psalms words which are appropriate to the circumstances in which he finds himself and meet his needs as adequately as if they were composed exclusively for his sake, and in such a way that he himself could not improve on them nor find or desire any better psalms or words.”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And we, as the saints, can find in the psalms any emotion that we need to express…Our psalm for today, psalm 46, is one of protection, deliverance, and victory…and though, I do not have a favorite psalm, per se, this one in particular spoke to me this week. This psalm tells of God’s protection and defense of God’s people, both thousands of years ago and today. In this psalm we are reminded that God is our strength and help when we are in trouble. Though there will be natural disasters and political turmoil, God will not be moved, God will remain constant. God is supreme over all the earth! God is with God’s people and keeps them safe!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The psalms have been re-written and interpreted by different writers, poets, and musicians for years and years…One adaptation of psalm 46 that I found really intriguing comes from a little known Episcopal prayer book that was published last year, called the <a href="http://www.cokesbury.com/forms/ProductDetail.aspx?pid=688662">Hip Hop Prayer Book</a>…Psalm 46 is re-interpreted by Hip Hop artists in the vernacular used by the kids who live in the South Bronx so that they would feel more comfortable in worship.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, I share with you this translation…</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">God is our refuge. If troubles test you</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He’s who you step to</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We kept cool when high tides swept through</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And earthquake shakes right and left moves</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We bless you!</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There’s an estuary, that rests very high</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">With a river in the middle set by El Shaddai</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Kept wet, never dry</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Its water runs before the sun hits the sky</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And with one little cry…</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Heathen schemes seem really weak and</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He brings kingdoms to their knees and</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Humiliates them</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So we praise him, God of Jacob.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Hey kids, ladies gents, attention please</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">He who plants seeds and keeps the peace</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">From the West to the East</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">By break’n weaponry over his chest and knees</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Has requested you attention please heed his speech</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Stop and see that I preside over every rock and tree.”</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’ll try not to be faithless</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s He who made us.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">God of Jacob.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">However, whether the psalm is spoken in Hip Hop or in the language of the King James Bible, it has still been on my heart this week. I know we have all had times in our life where the world seems to be crumbling around us and we have to “Be still,” and know that God is with us. Be still…slow down…and know that God is our refuge and strength.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I can think of quite a few times in my life where things seemed to be falling apart. However, in the past several years, my life seems to crumble a whole lot easier…or rather my body seems to crumble...You see, I have Multiple Sclerosis. Which is not something that is a secret, but it is also something that is hard to share, especially to a new faith community. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">First let me explain a bit about Multiple Sclerosis is a disease that affects the central nervous system. The synapses, or nerves, spontaneously and without explanation develop scars which leads to the nerves misfiring or not, in some cases not connecting at all, which is what leads to physical symptoms. - it’s not disease that gets a lot of press, after all there are only about 400,000 diagnosed cases in the United States, compare that to the one million five hundred thousand cases of cancer that are projected to be diagnosed in the United States this year alone. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: white; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">But for the 400,000 of us with MS and our friends and family members the diagnosis is a big deal and something that needs constant monitoring, medicine, and care. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="background-color: white; vertical-align: baseline;"></span></span>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span id="docs-internal-guid-16194016-6ef3-4c35-3058-18949954091a"><span style="background-color: white; vertical-align: baseline;">So, my symptoms on a “normal” day consist of significant memory problems, which means that names and numbers are really difficult for me to retain. I also have problems with directions, as in getting from point A to point B, even if they’re simple. I struggle with issues with my balance and fatigue on almost a daily basis and I actually have a lot of pain in my joints pretty regularly. These are symptoms that I have learned to deal with and compensate for, so you very rarely hear me mention that anything is wrong...because even though it is wrong, it’s kind of normal for me, which is strange.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="background-color: white; vertical-align: baseline;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="background-color: white; vertical-align: baseline;"><span style="line-height: 1.5; white-space: pre-wrap;">And so, in the </span><span style="line-height: 24px; white-space: pre-wrap;">midst of my darkness of a chronic illness, I try to be </span></span></span><span style="line-height: 24px; white-space: pre-wrap;">positive. I count my blessings. </span><span style="line-height: 1.5; white-space: pre-wrap;">I am blessed to have a loving supportive husband. I am blessed to have parents, both Chandler’s and mine, who love and care for both of us very much. Then there is the rest of my wonderful family and friends. And of course, I am blessed to be here with this </span><span style="line-height: 24px; white-space: pre-wrap;">family of faith.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I count my blessings daily, but that doesn’t stop the overwhelming feelings that life is crashing around me at times. So, I take great comfort in the psalms, especially psalms like 46 in which I am reminded that God is a very present help in danger and that God is with me in my struggles and though everything may seem inconsistent, God will be ever consistent and unfailing in loving me.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">However, I can’t count how many times I have told people that I have MS and they say, “Oh, well, it’s part of God’s plan,” or “Well, God has given you MS for a reason.” Now, I know these people are trying to be comforting, but when I hear these expressions, I begin to feel this tightness in the pit of my stomach. And I try to say in a reasonable manner, “Well, I don’t really believe that my leg not working is a part of God’s plan.” When, in fact, I want to yell, “NO! This is not part of God’s plan! God did NOT inflict me with this chronic disease! God does not want my family and friends to worry! God does not want me to be in pain!”</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I tell you, God does not cause bad things to happen to us. God does not give a person cancer, or fibromyalgia, or diabetes, or crohns, or multiple sclerosis. God doesn’t cause earthquakes or tsunamis, or hurricanes to punish his people. God does not want pain and brokenness to happen to our bodies and our relationships and our environment.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">So, why do bad things happen? Why do people get sick? Why do couples get divorced? Why do natural disasters occur? Why? Because…we live outside of the garden. In the beginning God created humankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them, male and female he created them. And then humankind wanted to be like God and the man and the woman ate of the fruit and then the eyes of both of them opened, and they knew they were naked.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We live after Genesis chapter 2, we live after The Fall. We live in a broken world, which was not of God’s choosing, but our own in our attempt to be like God. And because we live in this broken world we all live in an unnatural state…we become imperfect…we become fallible…we become broken and our world becomes broken. We become open to disease and death and bad relationships and natural disasters. We are broken and we are fallen, not because of something God has done, but because of what we have done.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Now, please, do not misunderstand me…WE are broken as a people. Death, illness, accidents, and divorce do not occur because of individual sins. We are all sinners, but my personal sins did not lead to my MS. The fallen nature of creation has allowed sin and brokenness to enter into the world and with that sin and brokenness comes the bad things that happen in our lives.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 13.679999828338623pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">However, there is hope. We may be broken, but we are not unfixable. We have our hope in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Jesus, who longs to gather us together as a mother hen gathers her brood under her wings…Jesus, who longs to protect us from harm…Jesus, who gave himself for us and for our salvation. We have hope and salvation in the body and blood of Jesus. Jesus, who despite what you may have heard in the media lately, was bodily resurrected so that we too have the hope of the resurrection on the last day.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 13.679999828338623pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We have the hope of a new heaven and a new earth…a holy city…a new Jerusalem where God will reside among human beings. God will live among us, and God will wipe away every tear from our eyes, and death will not exist any more – or mourning, or crying, or pain, or cancer, or Alzheimer’s, or car accidents, or hurricanes, or addictions, will be no more. For God will make all things whole. God will make all things new. We have complete victory through Christ. For neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor heavenly rulers, nor things that are present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 13.679999828338623pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">However, until the time that Christ comes again, we are gifted with the community of Christ to support us; we have the Spirit to guide us; Jesus walks with us; God empowers us; and we have the immediate hope of the forgiveness of sins and promise of the resurrection in Holy Communion.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 13.679999828338623pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">And until that day when we are joined with Christ we have the hope in the knowledge that God has been with his people in their troubles, God is with us in our troubles, and God will continue to be with us, even in the troubling times ahead.</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">“</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Be still, and know that I am God! I am exalted among the nations, I am exalted in the earth." The LORD of hosts is with us; the God of Jacob is our refuge.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
</span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.5; margin-bottom: 13.679999828338623pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Amen.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><br /></span>
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<span style="font-family: Georgia; font-size: 16px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></div>
naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-89659426258617460062014-02-13T18:13:00.001-08:002014-02-13T18:22:56.600-08:00The Non-Mom Club<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">When was the last time you
felt left-out? <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And I mean the utter
left-outness that one feels in elementary/middle school – picked last for the
kick-ball team, not being asked to dance, not being invited to the party –
totally left-out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It can be gut wrenching, that
left-out feeling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being left-out leaves
one feeling alone and isolated and sometimes un-loved. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Now, I haven’t taken any
official polls, nor do I have any scientific data to back this up, but my guess
is that every young woman of a certain age who does not have children has felt
that left-outness in a very profound way at some point in her life. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Truly, I know what that feels
like, because up until mid-December, I was a woman of a certain age without
children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And let me be clear – I have
a wonderful husband, parents, sister, in-laws, friends (both near and far), and
dog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a pretty great job/vocation
as a Lutheran Pastor serving a wonderful congregation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a lot of fun, with all of the above-mentioned
people in my life and in my work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, one
would think, my life was pretty fantabulously awesome – and I assure you, it
was and is – however, there was one thing missing for me, a child. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Our family decision to have
our child and the way we chose to do that is just that, a family decision, and
though it was filled with it’s ups and downs, I am glad that I have been
married to my best friend for so long prior to joyfully welcoming a child into
our family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My husband and I have fun
together…lots of fun together!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
travel, go to concerts, go to movies, stay up late eating junk food, spend time
with family, and generally have a blast where-ever we go and whatever we
do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is not to say that I was of the
mind set that we “had to” do these things before kids, but I am practical in
realizing having kids will change how we continue to do these things…as a
family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am also practical in realizing
that someday, the nest will be empty, and I want a firm foundation with my
husband prior to that dreaded empty nest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Please, don’t misunderstand,
I am not being critical of couples who chose to have children sooner rather
than later in their relationship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
just stating part of the how and why I ended up in that infamous “non-mom club” for so
long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Ahhhh…the “non-mom
club.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And here’s where we get to
the left-outness of it all. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It still seems to be the
natural order of things, that a young couple falls in love, gets married, and
soon after starts having children (I intentionally did not say “start a family”
because I have always thought that me and my husband, with the family dog, are
a wonderful family).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, studies
continue to show that couples are waiting longer to get married (if they choose
to get married at all) and then waiting longer in the relationships to have
children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">It’s tough to live in a world
where women still feel judged by whether they are mothers or not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know we have come a long way as a society,
but there is still a judgment about such things…and I know this is true by how
many times I have been asked in the 8+ years I have been married “when are you
going to have children?” which to me implies that I should or must have
children to have a fulfilling life/be a complete woman. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And then there comes the time
in every young woman’s life where her peer group starts having babies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some women will never know the complete and
utter heartbreak it is to be in the “non-mom club” because things seem to go
well in their reproductive lives (however, I am well aware that every reproductive
story has at least some measure of heartbreak in it).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Being in the “non-mom club”
truly becomes like a club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Women who
don’t even know each other who are a part of the club can be in a room with
other women who are mothers, and all those in the “non-mom club” have to do is
simply just make eye contact with each other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It’s like wearing a special ring or tattoo or wristband, but it’s deeper
than that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of those in the “non-mom
club” wear that sorority in their hearts and only other members see it in their
eyes.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">In my fairly long tenure in
the “non-mom club” there were certainly times where I was the only club member
in a room full of mothers…who are dear friends of mine, but still mothers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mothers have a way of understanding the joys
and gripes of motherhood that those in the “non-mom club” not only cannot
understand, but also can feel resentful about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">How many times have I heard
from friends and other loved-ones in my life, “at least you can get a good
night’s sleep” or “it’s great that you’re so free to go to concerts whenever
you want” or “I wish I could just go to the grocery store without the kids,
like you do.” <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I think it is human nature to
at times gripe and to self deprecate because when we gripe, complain, or
undervalue ourselves and our lives, it can be a form of trying to be humble or
downplay a really good situation in our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>(I also realize that many times mothers are complaining about the tough moments
because those moments are on their hearts.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">However, this is not what a
member of the club hears when they hear complaints about motherhood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A complaint about motherhood can still be a
vicious smack in the face reminding the “non-mom club” member that they are not
mothers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Of course every reproductive
journey is different (including those who choose not to have children, those
who have difficulty having biological children, those who choose to adopt, etc),
and I would be a fool to state that every woman without a child wants one
desperately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would also be a fool to
state that every woman needs to have a child to feel complete.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I certainly do not think either of these
things are true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, my guess is that
many women who are members of the club have had to wrestle with what that means
and many women in the club have had a tough time with it at one point or
another. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I can now say, because I now
fully understand from experience, that becoming a mother dramatically changes
my priorities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It dramatically changes
how I view my family and the world because I now have to think not only for my
husband and myself, but also my child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Becoming a mother has dramatically changed how much mental space is
taken up for the sake of my child – from daily schedules to how much I worry
and how much I love him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And so it is
very understandable and natural to want to share all of that with all of my
friends and it is very understandable and natural for me to start to gravitate
to other friends in my life who are mothers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">But I love my friends who are
members of the “non-mom club” too and I always will. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">So, now that I am no longer a
member of the club - <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="margin-left: 21.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->may I never talk
endlessly about my child to women in the club. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 21.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->may I never share
my complaints about motherhood in the presence of a “non mom club” member.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 21.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->may I never only post
things about my child on social media sites, forgetting that there are other
parts of my life that can be shared.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 21.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->may I always be
mindful of those in the “non-mom club” and not spout unsolicited advice or “I
remember how it felt” because once a woman is out of the club, she’s OUT!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(It doesn’t matter how long woman spent in
the club or what kind of heartache she endured while in the club, once a woman
becomes a mother she is no longer a member of the club, that’s it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She cannot comment on her time in the club to
members who are in the club ever again…unless she is genuinely asked by a
“non-mom club” member to share her story.)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="margin-left: 21.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->may I never pull
away from my friends who are members of the “non-mom club” because I am no
longer a member myself. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="margin-left: 21.0pt; mso-add-space: auto; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">-<span style="font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: normal;">
</span></span><!--[endif]-->may I always
continue to be me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And last, but not least, may
I always work harder to maintain those wonderful relationships with those women
friends of mine who are in the club.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
friends who are members of the “non-mom club” should never feel like they have
to work harder to maintain a relationship with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is my life that has changed, not theirs,
which means I need to work harder to maintain my friendships with them in ways
that are respectful and fun for all involved. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">My time in the “non-mom club”
was not in vain even though at times it was isolating, lonely, and
difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It taught me a lot about love
– how to give it and how to receive it – from my husband, family, and
friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It taught me a lot about how to
maintain friendships and develop new friendships (or let some friendships
go).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It taught me new levels of snark
and sarcasm. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Though I am no longer a
part of the club anymore, may I always be aware that there will women in my
life who I love who will be in club and may I always treat them as the true
friends that they are. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(super special Thank You to Dana Blouch-Hansen and another wonderful friend for helping me develop this post.)</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
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naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3533521325100842202.post-32445682290413603172014-02-07T18:58:00.000-08:002014-02-07T20:12:39.148-08:00How Can You Love A Child You Didn't Give Birth To?<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I met my son on November 1, 2013. </span></div>
</div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">He moved in on December 20, 2013. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">To be clear, I met my son and roughly seven weeks later, he moved into our home and into our lives forever.</span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">(Our son was in foster care in an adjacent county. Agencies working within the United States try to provide a period of transition for older children being moved into new homes, this is not always the case, but it was for us.) </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And so it was that my husband and I met a sweet, bouncy, two year old, in a stuffy room of a county Children and Youth Services building. The room had no windows, one table with several chairs around it, and a very small sitting area. When we met our son, the room was packed with the two of us, our case worker, three case workers from my son's county, his foster mother, his foster sister, and him…giggly, wiggly, and constantly moving, though there was very limited space for him to do so. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">We spent over an hour in that tight space…watching him, asking questions about him, tentatively playing with him, and watching him some more. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Following the meeting, my husband and I had the opportunity to think and pray about inviting this child into our lives forever. However, as we drove the hour home, we both spoke out loud what we had both been thinking during the meeting - that we had just met our son. It was this amazing, beautiful, and terrifying realization. We had met our son. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Upon looking back on it, I knew he was mine the minute I saw him. In the week leading up to the meeting, I had the butterflies of excitement in my stomach because I thought he was probably my boy, but when I saw him, I knew…and I fell in love. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">I understand that it may not make sense that I love a child I did not give birth to. It's totally unexplainable to people who have never been through the adoption process. To those who do not have children or those who only have biological children, it's not something that can be summed up in words. So I won't even try, because then it would just become senseless babble. Just believe me. It's true. I love him so much my heart feels like it will burst…and there is no doubt in my mind that he is mine. I am his mommy and my husband is his daddy. Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever. </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"> </span><br>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br></span>
naomi sease carrikerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09181311383042639094noreply@blogger.com0